I don't think that I ever really understood the term "bittersweet" until now. It astounds me that one heart can feel such diverse emotions.
I am so proud! I look at my little girl and see that she has become this amazing, capable, confident young woman. I take pride in the job that I've done. I'm in awe that I had a hand in creating her. I am excited to see what the world will bring to her and what she will bring to the world. She's on the cusp of such amazing adventures and I get to follow along for the ride! That's the "sweet" part.
I am so sad! I look at my little girl and see that she has become this amazing, capable, confident young woman. It terrifies me. Where do I fit in? I was good at being a Mommy. I'm not sure what and how we'll be now. Do confident young women need Mommies? What will my life look like after my girls are gone? That's the "bitter" part.
The logical part of me knows that life will be fine; even better. The vulnerable part is scared. Journey's into the unknown are always the hardest. Change is hard. I know that it will take time. I need to allow myself the time to grieve the loss of my past me so that I have room in my heart to embrace the future me. I know that I'll make this change an opportunity to make something better, stronger, than what was before. I know that, with time, the "bitter" will be gone and I'll be left with the new and wonderful "sweet".