The Ripple Effect:
Consider a situation: You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter is in full, “me do” mode and accidentally knocks over her whole bowl of cereal. You harshly scold her for the mishap. She breaks down in tears.
After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the bowl too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal argument follows. Wet from the spilled milk, you storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your wife must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 80 km an hour in a 60 km/h speed limit zone. You get pulled over by Police. After a 15-minute delay and a $60 traffic ticket, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying goodbye.
After arriving at the office 30 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terribly, and as it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. Suddenly, the small ripple of a breakfast mishap has become a huge wave!You look forward to going home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the cereal cause it?
B)Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the traffic policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D.
You had no control over what happened with the cereal How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened:
Cereal splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time." Grabbing a towel, you rush upstairs, change your shirt, and grab your briefcase. You come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your wife kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good a day you are having.
Notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both started the same but ended differently. Why? Because of how you REACTED. Life happens! About 10%of the time, little BullSh*t Balls pop up. Balls that you don’t necessarily control. But….you CAN control your reaction. You CAN control how the other 90% of your day plays out!
Here are some ways to stop the waves:
If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly, and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? Curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work.
Try applying this 90/10 principle in each day!
When the Stuff of Life happens, roll with it! Take a moment and manage the part you CAN control - - your REACTION.
Try it! See how much calmer and positive your life will feel!
