A large part of my practice is working with separated parents who are having a hard time sharing their children after separation. Often, one parent or the other will come to me hoping that, in some way, I can be the “heavy gun” who will regulate the other parent and force them to behave differently. But, here’s the thing: different does not always mean wrong. Children have two parents and two people who may parent very differently. Agreed; sometimes a parenting decision can cause sadness or a bit of chaos. Bottom line though, there’s no definitive blueprint or manual for parenting. This journey is a serious of successes, mistakes, and opportunities to grow. Each parent will be on that journey in their own way and own pace. Will the kids be affected by the mistakes? Of course they will! Will they be affected by the successes? Of course they will as well.
So, my best advice to help all separated parents create a more peaceful life for their kids is this: It’s time to leave the Circus. Let each of you practice being the best form of clown that you can be. Give space for learning and growth . And, most importantly, let your kids know that each parent’s unique form of Clown can be something magical (even when mistakes happen along the way). The more that your kids see that each of you respect each other, the more secure and safe they will feel.
